Transforming Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence
When you hear the term “emotional intelligence,” what do you think of? It’s one of those concepts that can mean different things to different people and, when it comes to leadership, emotional intelligence (EQ) can make or break your strategy for becoming a positive force for good in your role.
In years past, the idea of “emotion” at work may have seemed like a liability rather than a required leadership skill set. Leaders were expected to be impartial, objective, and sometimes even ruthless decision-makers. The idea of the “fearless leader” was sometimes confused with the “feared leader,” and a lack of promoting and prioritizing EQ was a major component of toxic work environments.
Today, we know that emotional intelligence in leadership means seeing team members as humans and, with that always top-of-mind, making decisions based on empathy and connection. Emotion in the workplace is not a weakness—it’s a source of strength and a way for leaders to level up and transform the way they interact with and inspire their team.
What is emotional intelligence (and why should we care at work?)
Emotional intelligence can be defined as the awareness, control, and expression of emotions. Emotional intelligence was popularized in the 1990s by Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. It was his belief that EQ might be more important than IQ, especially when it came to interpersonal relationships. The idea that the way we recognize and react to our emotions (in both self and social competencies) is central to applying EQ to creating a more positive work environment that puts people first and reaps benefits like more empathetic communication, improved interpersonal relationships, and even better performance and engagement.
Consider any one of the following all-too-real workplace scenarios:
- A team member has missed a crucial deadline. In frustration, you dash off a harsh team-wide email to reprimand them and let them know you’ve had to take on extra work to make up for their shortcoming.
- A client isn’t happy with the service they’ve experienced. When you seek an explanation from your team, no one seems to take responsibility, and they pass the blame on to others.
- You’ve heard that one of your coworkers is having difficulties in their personal life and even suspect that it might be affecting their work. You don’t want to step on any toes, so you avoid the subject completely.
- You’ve missed a few scheduled employee evaluations because things are simply too busy. Hey, they’re getting paid for their work. It’s not a big deal if you can’t squeeze in a check-in for a while.
Sound familiar? While they may seem fairly innocuous here and there, these scenarios are examples of how someone with low emotional intelligence acts. Whether it’s feeling the need to punish employees, assign blame, or avoid anything other than surface-level relationships, these low EQ experiences can really take a toll on your workplace culture. What seems like “business as usual” might leave employees feeling empty and disengaged.
In a 2023 Future of Jobs survey, the World Economic Forum found that half of the skills recognized as vital to an organization in the future were emotional intelligence-based: Some of the most common answers?
- 67 percent said curiosity and learning
- 66 percent identified resilience and flexibility
- 59 percent said self-awareness
Emotional intelligence in leaders
Consider those above scenarios with a high EQ lens:
- A team member missed a crucial deadline. As a manager, you privately talk to the employee about what caused the mistake. You listen carefully and discuss solutions to remedy the issue together and make provisions so it doesn’t happen in the future.
- A client isn’t happy with the service they’ve experienced. You call a meeting with your team and avoid placing blame. Instead, you take responsibility for your part, setting a positive example for those you manage. You talk about what you can take away from the experience.
- You’ve heard that one of your coworkers is having difficulties in their personal life. You let them know that you’re happy to listen if they want to talk and offer ways that you can help lighten their workload, encourage them to take time for their mental health, and let your team know how they can offer extra support.
- You’ve missed a few scheduled employee evaluations because things are simply too busy. You know how important they are for morale and communication, so you apologize and schedule a few mini-evaluations to get back on track. You come prepared with three questions that encourage your employees to open up and offer suggestions, comments, or concerns.
See the difference? The EQ of a leader can affect different team members in different ways, but they’re all contributing to a more positive, empathetic, and connected workplace.
What are the key characteristics of an emotionally intelligent leader
In my book, Shaping a Winning Team, I discuss Positive Leader’s approach to rowers, sitters, and drillers. I’ve delved into the details more deeply in other posts, but when we apply it to emotional intelligence, the concept becomes even more compelling. That’s because to even identify team members as rowers, sitters, and drillers means having the EQ to observe, listen, and even take a hard look at ourselves.
Here’s an excerpt from the book:
Rowers are generally empathetic and compassionate. They also get things done, but they do so in motivating and inspirational ways. They care a lot about relationships and can take the perspective of others to recognize what others want and how others feel. In short, they have high levels of emotional intelligence. They are also proactive high achievers who want to go the extra mile to succeed. They thrive in cultures where performance is appropriately rewarded and employees respect one another.
That’s the thing: Game recognizes game. If you want to identify those high-impact rowers, you need to be one yourself. And that requires the following characteristics and skills:
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the core of emotional intelligence. That’s because EQ is seeing yourself as you really are and, in turn, seeing others for who they really are. Understanding yourself, your motivations, and your choices is key to interacting with others using a higher degree of empathy.
Adaptability and resilience
A high emotional intelligence leader can easily adapt to change and bounce back from failure because they understand the emotions involved. Therefore, they’re better able to manage those accompanying emotions and make positive decisions based on both feelings and objective facts.
Conflict resolution
Leaders with high EQ know that their team is made up of unique individuals with thoughts, feelings, experiences, talents, and limitations. Encouraging empathy and positive communication completely changes the way emotionally intelligent leaders deal with conflict because they’re able to consider the human element and decipher context and motivations more effectively.
Empathy
Call it the single-most underrated skill for leaders: Empathy isn’t just about listening and understanding your employees’ points of view, but creating a workplace culture where empathy comes first. When working with a variety of personalities, the knee-jerk reaction can be negative simply because coworkers don’t take the time to give their team members the benefit of the doubt. Empathy seeks first to understand before seeking for a solution.
Energy and motivation
An emotionally intelligent leader actively looks for where they can jump in and start rowing. They set the tone and culture for the organization and rise to the occasion of their leadership. Because an EQ-fluent leader knows their team, they know how to keep them engaged and moving in a positive direction.
Desire to learn
Having emotional intelligence is understanding that learning is a perpetual part of the process. You don’t know everything—but you can definitely find the answers you need if you’re willing to learn. Your high EQ means you know that each individual can be both a student and a teacher.
Service mindset
Another bit from Shaping a Winning Team:
Research has shown that an individual’s desire to meet the needs of others and the amount of effort the individual puts forth is positively associated with a range of favorable outcomes, such as higher relationship satisfaction and, at work, better team performance . . . Ultimately, all our relationships are based on how we treat each other. Character is how we treat those who can do nothing for us.
A high-EQ leader is willing to put themselves in a position to serve and put others first.
How to develop emotional intelligence as a leader: 5 strategies
It’s true that some people come equipped to their roles as leaders with a high degree of EQ. But what about others? Can emotional intelligence be learned?
Consider a study published in a 2019 issue of PLoS One from the Public Library of Science. When leaders from a 175-year-old international company participated in seven sessions of EQ leadership training, they improved their EQ skills in intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships, stress management, adaptability, and even mood.
And they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
1. Emotional intelligence training
Emotional intelligence leadership training is definitely one of the ways I recommend managers start strong. Sometimes leaders and managers don’t even realize a) they’re experiencing low EQ at work and b) what they’re missing out on. Emotional intelligence leadership training via a course like Positive Leader helps tap into the “why?” and “what’s in it for me?” of it all.
2. Set EQ goals
If you want to get somewhere, you need to know where you are right now. We always recommend taking the PAT as a starting point to understand your individual traits and assess your EQ. One of the coolest things about developing EQ is that the way you set goals can be a way to improve in and of itself. A leader with high EQ sets goals that are realistic, offer opportunity for support and accountability, and gives everyone a chance to celebrate those hard-fought wins.
3. Practice, practice, fail, and practice
No one becomes an emotional intelligence master overnight. I’d be willing to bet that when you first start your journey to becoming a more empathetic, adaptable, and motivational leader, you’re going to fail. In fact, you might even fail a lot. The trick is to never allow those missteps to stop you from reaching your full potential and helping others reach theirs. You’re going to lose patience, react badly, or communicate poorly. It’s the way you rebound and keep practicing those skills that will make the difference.
4. Focus on the positive
Celebrate the wins when you see them and keep focusing on those positive outcomes that make increasing your emotional intelligence worth it. Be aware of your team and watch for little changes that make a big difference, like employees feeling more connected to one another, less likely to play the blame game, and being more open with you as a manager. These positive daily resets are what contribute to a long-term change in the way your organization operates.
5. Put your boots on the ground
Don’t be a sitter. A good leader is the one rowing alongside the rest of the team. Getting your boots on the ground helps build your EQ as you see the day-to-day conflict, communication, and choices your team experiences. You’ll build trust with your team members as they see you willing to put in the work and model emotional intelligence.
EQ and leadership: A powerful combination
Your job as an emotionally intelligent leader isn’t to force change; it’s to present a pathway and opportunity for your team to grow. Developing EQ means rethinking the way things have always been done and bringing a positive, human element to everything you do. Whether it’s something as simple as the way you word an email to a big deal department restructure, approaching your team members with empathy, connection, and awareness puts you on the path to creating a culture that puts people first.
